Confused because?
by Kijo-Wrath
Summary: Who? Who to choose when both have claimed your heart at some point? Who is it that you truly yearn for? Aerith Gainsborough has asked herself over and over again... and now she's come to her conclusion.


**Disclaimer: I do not own any characters/settings or anything Final Fantasy related. I'm merely a crazed fan like a lot of us.**

**Confused... because?**

"Again…?"

I opened my eyes to take in the one that had forever altered my life. His jet black hair protruding in every direction was blowing in the light breeze. Mako blue eyes peering into my own, he was just inches away from my touch.

"Yes Zack… again."

I unclasped my hands and stood up, brushing my dress from any soil. Of course there would be nothing, but sometimes life habits just stuck to you.

"Why? You're already in the Promised Land."

He was teasing, but I never got tired of answering that question.

"It's for the living, I'm asking for protection for our friends."

I extended one hand out to him and he took it gingerly. Even though it had been a while, it just wasn't the same as it used to.

"I want to be left alone for a bit Zack, the earth it's asking something of me."

Without a question he nodded and took off, we weren't the only two here so he could always keep himself company with the others.

I sighed and watched his retreating form, I always did this to him push him away and somehow I couldn't stop myself… why? Wasn't I happy? I had gotten what I wanted, my love back and the happiness of my friends.

_It's because you still feel for him…_

It was true I did feel for him, it's selfish but I wanted them both. I wanted Cloud after I knew Zack was gone, after I knew that I was hurting another friend in the process. I felt guilty, but even I am not perfect.

I envied her so much. How she was the key to his memories. How she was able to bring back her childhood friend. Why was it that I was drawn to him? Was it that I loved the way I was getting all the attention? I saw him lay my body to rest and a tingling feeling swept over me knowing that he was grieving for me.

I know that it was wrong to feel this way. To want everything, but I was deprived for so long of the love that I wanted… I envied her even more, yet I loved her like my sister. I was cruel. She never showed me any negative feelings, I never sensed that for once she hated me or was jealous.

_It's because she engraved herself in his heart before you…_

When he fell from the sky, I thought that maybe this was Zack's soul, in another body. He acted like him, but when we saw her being taken away by a carriage, the intensity that burned in his eyes made me feel… alone.

_It's because he's just like __**him**__…_

He was a first class SOLDIER just like Zack with hopes and dreams. The way he walked, the way he talked, the way he smiled, the way he ran his hand through his messy spikes. He was just like him and I thought that for once everything was going to be okay.

_It's because you love only one…_

It was when Cloud had finally retrieved all his memories did I truly know that I was mistaken. That he was hers and only hers. Cloud would never be my knight in shining armor and yet the love I had for him faded, faded into a bruise that has been engraved in my heart for I had betrayed my one true love Zack.

_It's because you wanted to be forgiven…_

Why couldn't I look at Zack? Why is it that I cringed away from his touch? It was because for once I was the one that needed to be forgiven. Cloud was not my love, but a reflection of what I wanted. Cloud was not the one I wanted to spend eternity with, he was the memory that kept Zack's death fresh in my mind. I wanted to ease the pain of guilt.

I turned my head and saw Zack walking towards me, a small smile on his face. I tilted my head, questioning the look. It wasn't one of his famous goofy looks, but it was sincere and soothing.

"You don't have to ask, I forgive you."

I gave him another questioning look, how did he know? He answered with a light chuckle and tapped his head with one index finger.

"You're not the only one who can talk to the earth you know."

My eyes went wide as he picked me up and kissed me… this time I didn't protest.

**AN: First Fanfic, hope you like it. I thought I would first do a one shot and from there progress into more chapters. Next story I write will most likely be three chapters. From there I'll progress.**

**So how'd you like this one? Satisfying? Please review, I know it's short buts it's meant to be short and sweet :D**


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